Grief is a universal human experience, yet it often feels incredibly isolating. When we lose someone or something dear to us, the world can feel a little dimmer, a little heavier. It’s a journey no one wants to embark on, but one that many of us will inevitably face. And within this journey, it’s crucial to remember: whatever you feel, it’s okay. 

There’s no “right” way to grieve, no fixed timeline, and certainly no single emotion you should be experiencing. Our society often struggles with open conversations about grief, sometimes leading us to believe we need to “be strong” or “move on” quickly. But true strength lies in acknowledging your pain and allowing yourself to feel it. 

The Stages of Grief: A Compass, Not a Map Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’s five stages of grief – denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance – are widely known. It’s important to understand that these stages are not a linear progression. You might experience them in a different order, revisit certain stages multiple times, or even skip some altogether. Think of them as a compass that helps you understand the landscape of grief, rather than a rigid map you must follow. 

• Denial: This initial shock can act as a buffer, protecting you from the immediate overwhelming pain. You might find yourself thinking, “This can’t be happening.” 
• Anger: As the reality sets in, anger can emerge – at the situation, at others, or even at the person who is gone. This anger is a natural response to feeling helpless and hurt.
• Bargaining: In this stage, you might find yourself wishing you could go back in time, making “deals” with a higher power or with yourself to change what has happened. 
• Depression: The profound sadness, emptiness, and despair that characterize this stage can be all-consuming. It’s a deep acknowledgement of the loss. 
• Acceptance: This doesn’t mean you’re “over” your grief or that the pain is gone. Instead, it’s about coming to terms with the reality of the loss and finding a way to integrate it into your life. It’s about learning to live with the absence. 

Remember, these are not boxes to tick, but rather common emotional responses. Your grief is unique to you, and all your feelings are valid. 

Your Breath: A Steadfast Friend in the Storm In the midst of overwhelming emotions, it can feel like you’re adrift without an anchor. This is where your breath can become your most powerful ally. Breathwork, as explored on Nalu Breathwork, offers accessible tools to help regulate your nervous system, ground you in the present, and create a sense of calm amidst the chaos. 

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When grief hits, our breathing often becomes shallow and rapid, reflecting our internal turmoil. Consciously shifting your breath can send a signal to your brain that you are safe, even when you feel anything but. 

Here are a couple of simple breathwork tips you can try:

1. Box Breathing (4-4-4-4): This technique is excellent for calming the nervous system. 

• Inhale slowly through your nose for a count of four. • Hold your breath for a count of four. 
• Exhale slowly through your mouth for a count of four. • Hold your breath again for a count of four. 
• Repeat this cycle for several minutes. 

Try Healing Breath 

• Inhale through the nose for a count of 4 
• Exhale through the nose fur a count of 8 
• Adjust the numbers to suit your own breath 

When we breathe together we heal together!